Is Astrology Bullsh*t?


You know that one person that always blames their mood swings and unsolicited bitchy comments on their zodiac sign? Like we get it Sarah, you're an Aries, simmer down. These people give astrology a bad rap and are usually the reason behind the infamous eye roll when the topic comes up.

I've always lowkey been interested in astrology and how it plays a role in our lives and personalities. I've done a ton of research on my sign and others (I've shamelessly googled guys sun signs and compared our compatibility). If you're literally just now hopping on the Astrology bus and need basic info on the signs, I provided it below.

I'm not one to believe just anything I'm told, especially when it comes to ~~mystical~~ matters, so I approached astrology with one foot in the door and the other tentatively out. If there's anything I've discovered through my research and real-life experiences it's this: Astrology is NOT bullsh*t. In fact, it's scarily accurate.

Hear me out.

I was sitting in a cafe one morning with my roommate Emma casually chatting and drinking coffee at the bar. There was a woman next to me typing away on her computer who I quite honestly didn't really notice. After about 30 minutes of talking to Emma and occasionally checking my phone, the woman lightly tapped me on my shoulder and started to chuckle. "Sorry to interrupt, but I just have to ask- are you a Gemini?" 

Turns out the woman devotedly typing on her computer next to me was one of the most respected and well known astrologers of our time, and that woman was Susan Miller. She runs a site called Astrology Zone, which offers free in-depth monthly horoscopes as well as loads of helpful information about the planets and stars. She's also a bestselling author and has written for the likes of Harper's Bazaar, Vogue, Cosmo, and much more.  I religiously read my monthly horoscope from her site, and let me tell you, she's usually spot on. I remember one month her horoscope literally predicted the EXACT date I would be traveling, and another time she predicted I would be "signing a contract"- which turned out to be my first apartment lease.

Susan explained to me that even though I was very much a Gemini, there was SO much more to personal astrology than most people are aware of. This explains why some people are unable to relate to their horoscope and descriptions of their signs. I'm not going to launch into a mini webinar about the intricacies of the zodiac, but I will give you some resources to discover some potentially mind blowing shit about yourself. And guess what? It's actually quite simple.

Let me introduce you to the birth chart, aka the natal chart. 

This nifty little thing is a map of where all the planets were in their journey around the Sun at the precise moment you were born. An astrology chart can reveal your strengths and weaknesses, opportunities for growth, the best timing important decisions, and literally reveal who you are as a person. Crazy, right? Trust me, you want to get your hands on your birth chart.

For starters, you're going to want to call your mom. Unless you happen to know the exact time and place of your birth, which is slightly odd if you do, but props if so.

Armed with this information, Google "birth chart" and a number of sites will pop up that will calculate it for free. I used one of my favorite astrology sites, Cafe Astrology which provided me with my complete natal chart in under a minute as well as detailed descriptions of each component. You're going to be totally overwhelmed when you first see your chart, because it looks like a Pythagorean algorithm with planets thrown into the mix. For your viewing pleasure, check out an example of a natal chart below. And yes, you read that correctly, someone literally did Jesus' birth chart and apparently he was a Gemini (like moi). So yes, I will now be adding the fact that Jesus and I share the same sun sign to my arsenal of personal fun facts. 



Depending on the site you use, your chart may look different but all the information will be the same. If you're still staring at the image above and your inner Virgo is having a mini meltdown over the unclear organization- fear not. A little research goes a long way and will tell you everything you need to know. For example, (in reference to Jesus's chart) he would look up "Moon in Capricorn, Mercury in Cancer, Venus in Leo, etc;

I'm not kidding you when I say that I sat at my computer for hours decoding my natal chart and my mind was literally blown. I learned things about myself that I never even knew, but made total sense. For example, I'm a Gemini with Aquarius rising. Meaning I act and speak like a Gemini, but I feel and think like an Aquarius  ( which is a rough explanation but you get the idea).

So don't freak out when you find out that that hot guy you met at the bar is an Sagittarius, (infamous play boys, smh) there could be more than meets the eye.

If you think Astrology is a load of crap, you truly haven't done your research or taken the time to check it out. I recommend that EVERYONE explore their zodiac, it has been immensely helpful for me personally, professionally, and emotionally. Men, check your ego at the door because I'm sick and tired of guys thinking this stuff is "gay" or "girly."

Now go do some research on yourself, or if you're feeling a especially enthusiastic (and a little creepy/crazy) figure out your significant other's zodiac situation as well. Hell, figure out your bestfriend's, your mom, your brother. Suddenly your relationships will make much more sense and you'll have this weird sense of power. Because knowledge is power. So go be powerful.

Side note: you can pay someone to do all of the research and birth chart shenanigans, and you can even get a whole book decoding your birth chart 

And to my fellow Geminis, I feel your struggle. Every time someone rolls their eyes when you tell them you're a Gem, shake it off because we're magically unique, and Jesus was a Gemini so use that to your advantage, even though I feel like that's a religious gray area, LOL. 


I've included a list of some of my favorite astrology sites, some of which are funny AF.

I'm going to start doing more Astrology posts in the future, mostly funny and lighthearted so let me know if you enjoyed this post. And as always make sure to SUBSCRIBE!